by Peter Eldin.
This is about a book I have here at home...
There are so many funny stories in it, so thought I would put some here on my website
for others to read and have a chuckle... :))
Hope You enjoy, and keep coming back to read more stories...
I will be putting more stories on here everyday... :))
HOLD UP SLIP UP
Would-be bank robber, Carlo Colondi,
really slipped up when he tried to rob a bank in Milan, Italy.
As he burst through the door he tripped on the doormat,
his scarf fell from his face and his gun went off harmlessly.
He got up and headed for the cashier-only to slip over again on the floor.
Confused by the customers and staff laughing at him,
Colondi rushed out to his car-
only to be arrested; he'd left his car in a no-parking area!
ARMED ROBBER
An armed masked man raided a bank in Kentucky, USA,
and may have got away with it but for one thing.
It was a hot day, so he rolled up his sleeves,
forgetting he had a tattoo on his arm-with his name on it!
YOUNG DRIVER
The computer at the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Centre in Swansea,
Wales, once sent out a reminder to a young lady
that her driving licence was due to be renewed.
The lady did not take any notice of the reminder, but it was hardly surprising.
She was, after all, only six years old!
WHAT A GAS
From 1970 to 1972 Mrs Claire Bamber of Blackburn, England
tried to convince gas officials that she had no gas meter in her all electric home.
But the Gas Board computer said that there was a meter there,
So gas-men continued to call at her house to read it.
She received cards asking her to fill in the figures from the non-existent meter
so a bill could be sent to her.
Mrs Bamber got so fed up with this, she put a set of ridiculous figures on a card
and sent it off. The Gas Board sent an inspector to the house to see what was going on
and Mrs Bamber explained she had no gas meter. The inspector apologized and promised that she would not be bothered again.
Then another meter card arrived!
On the day the gas-man was due to call, she went to work leaving a note pinned to her front door:
'Confession is good for the soul. I'm getting free gas'. When she got home she was met by
several gas-men and policemen!
Once again she had to explain that she did not use gas-and this time
the gas officials made sure that the computer got the message.
GONE TO LAUNCH
Report of a boat launch that appeared in a magazine:
'....the Admiral's lovely daughter smashed a bottle of champagne over her stern
as she slid gracefully down the slipway.'
TRAIN TRAP
A burglar was just about to leave a department store in Hamburg,
West Germany when he spotted a train set.
He was still playing with it three hours later when the police arrived!
SLIPPERY CUSTOMER
When the thief in Sheffield, England, saw an upstairs window
slightly open, he thought he was in for a good thing.
He shinned up the drainpipe and let himself in.
The room was occupied by a 4-metre (13 foot) Boa Constrictor.
The thief quickly backed out of the window, forgetting he was upstairs
and ended up with a broken leg.
STREET SCENE
During a performance of Mozart's opera, 'Don Giovanni',
at the City Center, New York, USA, the audience were amazed
when they suddenly saw a modern street scene before them.
By mistake all the scenery used in the production had been raised
at the same time that the outer doors at the back of the stage were opened.
Instead of 18th century Spain, the audience saw 20th century New York!
ON REFLECTION
Many blunders are made in film-making
and a lot of mistakes actually appear on the finished film.
One of the most obvious appeared in the 1954 film, 'Carmen Jones'.
In one shot the camera follows the heroine along a street
but the film-makers did not notice, until the film was released,
that a reflection of the camera was visible in every shop window.
